Saturday, December 14, 2013

Men, You Are the Prize

This is a letter I composed for a friend who's dealings with women over the years has caused him little but grief. The names have been changed to protect the innocent.


I've heard once again hat you've had problems with a woman. I can relate to that. Recently, I've come to realize something:
In any relationship between a man and a woman, the woman is not the prize—the man is the prize.
This is the opposite of everything we were taught growing up. Wasn't the girl supposed to be the prize? Weren't we supposed to chase after the girl in an attempt to “win” her? Yes, that's what we were taught, and it's 100% wrong. Consider what the typical woman brings to a long term relationship:
  1. Sex. Of course, this one goes both ways. The truth is women like sex as much as men, otherwise there would be no such thing as a one night stand. Don't fall into the trap that she's doing you a favor by having sex with you. It is (and always has been) a mutual favor.
  2. Housekeeping. You would think housekeeping was up there with being tortured in the pit of hell the way women talk about it, but with modern appliances how much housekeeping (vacuuming, laundry, dish washing) does the average woman do in a day? I've run the numbers at our house, and it's an hour—maybe two max—a day. The fact is, it's a lot darn cheaper to hire a maid than it is to support a woman. Housekeeping costs you more and you get less of it when you depend on your woman to do it (not to mention the routine complaints about how hard housekeeping is). From a man's perspective, a woman's housekeeping contribution to the relationship is a net loss.
  3. Cooking. Much like housekeeping, this is overblown by most women. My wife cooks one meal a day (which takes at most an hour), and complains about it. Financially, it's much more expensive to feed two people than one (especially when you add in the times you pay for you both to eat out at a restaurant). The truth is you can eat out everyday by yourself and it would cost you less than it costs to feed both of you. A woman's cooking contributions is also a net loss from a man's perspective.
  4. Companionship. Another one that goes both ways. She gains as much from your companionship as you do from hers.
  5. Children & Motherhood? This is a big one, but again it's mutual. You bring the ability to sire and father children to the relationship. But so what? At our age we're not going to have any more children. If a woman brings children to the relationship, they will be children she has had previously with another man. Raising another man's kids—that's not a plus, that's a minus.
  6. Money: it's rare to find the woman who brings more money to the relationship than she takes out. In fact, what women usually bring is constant complaining about how the man doesn't make enough money and pressure to spend money. Regardless, no man marries a woman for money.
Bottom line, all the things a woman brings to a relationship (sex, companionship, children, motherhood) are really things that you both bring to a relationship. Now lets consider some of the things you bring to a relationship with a woman.
  1. Sex. As I said, women like sex as much as men.
  2. Companionship. If anything, you bring more of this to the relationship. Men are often fine being independent and living on their own. Women's lives are based around relationships.
  3. Money. Are you rich? No, but you're not poor either. You are responsible and bring in enough money to support yourself. You do better than many men financially. Few men are happy living off a woman. I've yet to meet a woman who was not only happy, but considered it her right to have a man support her financially.
  4. Fatherhood. This is huge if the woman has children from a previous marriage. Not only do you bring mentoring to her kids, but you take a huge load off her shoulders.
  5. Housing. You own your own home. Is it a mansion? No, but it's a nice home and you have one, which is more than most people have.
  6. Status. The stereotype is the man landing a trophy wife, but once you reach our age it becomes reversed. The saying that men get better looking as they get older, while women just get older is true. You're tall, in good shape, and look 10 years younger than your age. Any woman that walks into a room on your arm has bragging rights with other women about being able to land a quality man.
  7. Man chores. From car maintenance to killing spiders, there's a plethora of things men do around the house that women can't (or won't) do for themselves.
  8. Security. This is the #1 need of women. Having a man who provides all of the above translates to one thing: security.
Which person above looks like the prize and which one looks like they are getting the prize? Stop degrading yourself and stop acting as if you would be lucky to land a girl. The truth is most women would be lucky to land you, because you're the real prize—she isn't. The next time you entertain getting into a relationship with a woman write down a list of the things she will bring to the relationship and the things you will bring. Study it, and then repeat to yourself the truth that is revealed by the list:

I am the prize!


  1. Reading that article reminded me of this gem:

  2. Exactly right. Now if we could convince every man of it.

  3. I've always said the man is the prize..sounds crazy for a man to try to "win" a woman over to end up taking care of her. She needs to win me over🤷‍♂️💯

  4. The underlying assumptions made in this article is based on a cost-benefit analysis. Let's not forget that you can never out a price on a relationship. On the topic of children, which is indeed a HUGE one, I don't think men give enough thought to how much value that adds to his life and legacy for such a tiny cost. The investment he makes in wanting children is far less than the ROI. A woman, on the other hand, sacrifices nearly everything to bring children into this world. And how judgemental to say "Raising another man's kids—that's not a plus, that's a minus." when the Bible clearly commands us to look after the orphans and widows.

    Frankly, there should at least be an attempt to make this essay as objective as possible. This is a highly chauvinistic article. I read through the whole feeling really crap about myself as a woman. If that was the goal you intended to achieve, then you win. In the first few chapters of Genesis, God is clear that he made women for men not vice versa. If man was indeed "the prize" and was self-sufficient, he would not need a woman. God's view of men and women is so well-balanced and equal that it is us who have fallen terribly short of his standards by attempting to conclude who is the greater "prize". There is no such thing. We are equal in his eyes.

    May God have mercy on us as we navigate this complex issue.

  5. Bitch shut the fuck up. We're going to be the prize,the digging stick you need, the nigga that's giving you attention and your job in all honesty is to cook,clean,watch the kids and give us sex on the regular. We bring home the bacon and you'll fry it for us men to eat.

  6. Sounds like this man doesn't appreciate woman cooking, cleaning and raising his kids. Not only that but belittling a woman contributing into a relationship, talking like that hard work is nothing. Typical narcissist. I wonder in what kind of family this narcissist was raised.

  7. Men are the prize. We bring more to the table and we are physically stronger, can do anything women can do except sex or kids. That’s it

  8. Men are the prize. We bring more to the table and we are physically stronger, can do anything women can do except sex or kids. That’s it

  9. I’m a black woman who believes the man is the prize in a relationship. I support the MGTOW and red pill movement because of this. I think the woman should pursue/chase the man even though society tells us it’s the opposite. With this in mind, I’m the type of bitch that does what society says a man is supposed to do in a relationship. I love paying for dates, buying my man gifts, taking care of him etc. Other women hate me for this but I love to do what I do. I wish more men would start knowing their worth.