Saturday, November 16, 2013

Women Who Live Life in Reverse

When considering a woman as a wife, it's vital to understand how she views the various stages in her life and how she thinks they will play out over time, because her choices will affect how your life will play out also.

The modern feminist plan for how these years should be structured goes something like this:
18-30 Career Part 1

This is the time women prepare for a career by attending college. Young women tend to major in softer studies and avoid STEM (science, technology, engineering, math) degrees like the plague.1 Despite what colleges may say2, employers are not beating down the doors to hire anyone with a degree in gender studies.

The costs are considerable. The average student loan debt was over $27,000 in 2012.3 A college grad working in Starbucks has little chance of ever paying off that kind of debt. Unfortunately, colleges are cranking out female grads with non-marketable degrees. This is the root cause of the college debt crisis: big loans combined with impractical degrees.

This is also the time modern women are encouraged to explore their sexuality, as seen in the article 9 Dudes to Do Before You Die. I Mean, Get Married4. If you marry a woman living life in reverse, you're likely marrying a “9 dudes” girl who is an alpha widow6.

How long of a career are they planning on after college? Sixty percent of female college graduates plan on becoming stay at home moms after they marry.5 If they are 22 when they graduate with a bachelor's and have their first child at 32, they are only looking at an 10 year career before they quit working. If they take longer than four years to graduate or go for a master's degree their working career window becomes event shorter.

Women living life in reverse go through a tremendous amount of preparation and incur a heavy debt for a very short career window (one often not even long enough to pay off their college debts in many cases).

30-50 Marriage and Motherhood

60% of women with college degrees say they plan on quitting work and becoming a stay at home mom when they have children.5 This study was of women who had not had children yet. It fails to take into account the “oh my God I'm a mother” phenomenon. This is when a career woman who has sworn up and down that she does not want to be a stay at home mom holds her child for the first time and it hits her—the feminist career stuff was claptrap; she wants to stay home and take care of her baby. I can personally attest this phenomenon exists, as I have seen it several times. I don't know the exact number, but I would ballpark it as being at least another 15% of women, which would put the actual number at 75%.
75% of women with college degrees will want to become stay at home moms after they have their first child.
The reality is nowhere near that percentage actually become stay at home moms. Why? They can't afford it. They bought the house, the cars, the furniture, and the big screens—all which come with a debt (a debt that is piled on top of college loans and other debts run up before marriage). They have been living a two income lifestyle, and when the baby comes there just isn't enough money coming in to allow her to quit working.

And she's not going to be happy about it. Don't kid yourself, even in the most liberated of societies the husband is expected to be the breadwinner; and any financial failures will fall on the husband's shoulders. You can be bringing home $100,000 a year, but if you are living a $130,000 lifestyle (which requires your wife to work and bring home $30,000—less than one third of what your make) the result will be this:
Your wife will blame you (her husband) for not making enough money to support your family.
Money problems are one of the leading causes of divorce, and marrying a woman living life in reverse sets you up for financial problems during your marriage.

Biology waits for no one

Childbirth is a three legged stool:
  1. Fertility: the ability to get pregnant
  2. Carry to term: the ability to carry a baby to term and not miscarry
  3. Genetics: the ability to have a healthy baby
Unfortunately, all three of these drop like a rock thrown off a cliff once a woman hits 30.7
A woman who starts having children at 18 could easily give birth to 10 healthy children.

A woman who starts having children at 30 will be lucky to give birth to 2 healthy children.
That's how quickly a woman's childbirth ability drops with age. From an easy 10 to a hard 2. You may not want 10 children, but ask yourself: do you want more than one child? If so, then marrying a woman over 30 is a huge roll of the dice.

50-65 Career Part 2

When the kids are grown she'll start thinking about going back to work. Put yourself in the hiring managers shoes. It's 2013 and when you look at her resume you'll see:
  • Her last relevant job experience was in 1995
  • She received a college bachelor's degree in 1985
Because she interrupted her career to be a stay at home mom for about 20 years, she'll have to start over at the bottom of the ladder. And with only 15 years left until she retires, she's unlikely work her way up to the level she feels entitled (much less to the top of the ladder).

You Have a Choice

Why marry a woman whose life choices result in:
  • Her under performing in her career
  • Her under performing at having children
  • Additional financial burdens
  • A reduced ability to bond sexually with a man (alpha widow syndrome)6
When you choose a wife, you need to look for this “living life in reverse” pattern, and decide if it's for you. How a woman lives her life is up to her, but that doesn't mean you have to join her in that life. Decide the pattern you want your life to follow, then find a wife that will join you in your vision. Follow your vision for life, not modern society's.









  1. The best life path for the modern women would be to marry at ages 18-22, have children and care for them when young until she is 26-30, then study and start a decent career for 20-30 years uninterrupted.
    But that will never be pushed, since it would actually strengthen families, decrease wage pressure on the labor force and increase the bond between the genders. Feminism was designed to combat all of this, so it was a great success in that respect.

  2. You have summed up my follow up post: "How a woman can have it all".

  3. I knew a girl that went to medical school. She found a guy there and got married. Was a doctor for ~5-7 years and has a small bunch of kiddos for the now stay at home mom. (Of course) WASTE of medical school. How many women in medical school are going to quit after 5-10 years to have a family? We'll see how the doctor shortage will be in the future...