Monday, May 18, 2015

MGTOW vs The Dones

American Christianity has its own “going their own way” movement: The Dones. They aren't done with Christianity, but they are done with the institutional church, or what is commonly known as “churchianity.”
John is every pastor’s dream member. He’s a life-long believer, well-studied in the Bible, gives generously, and leads others passionately.

But last year he dropped out of church. He didn’t switch to the other church down the road. He dropped out completely. His departure wasn’t the result of an ugly encounter with a staff person or another member. It wasn’t triggered by any single event.

John had come to a long-considered, thoughtful decision. He said, “I’m just done. I’m done with church.”1
A researcher described them this way:
At Group’s recent Future of the Church conference, sociologist Josh Packard shared some of his groundbreaking research on the Dones. He explained these de-churched were among the most dedicated and active people in their congregations. To an increasing degree, the church is losing its best.2
Why they are leaving has variously been described in two ways:
  1. They can no longer tolerate the poor doctrine being taught from the pulpit, or they believe the modern institution of church has veered away from God's plan for his church—the body of Christ
  2. They are fatigued with the routine; they don't feel they get anything out of going to church and don't feel church is relevant to them today
Here is where the MGTOW movement and The Dones movement have some similarities. When you read stories by people who are done with church, invariably the focus is on #1—doctrine and the church as the body of Christ. When you read stories by critics of The Dones, they focus on #2. Often the critics use shaming language—calling The Dones selfish, ignorant, deluded, and even lazy—in an effort to berate The Dones into returning to the institutional church.

Both MGTOW and The Dones have rational and logical reasons for their actions. Reasons they are willing to talk about and debate with others in a calm and intelligent manner. Both groups are open to fixing the problems that caused them to “go their own way.”

Unfortunately, the critics of both MGTOW and The Dones either don't get it, or don't want to get it. They don't want to debate the issues and they certainly don't want to discuss the idea that they (the critics) might be part of the problem. They simply want things to go back to the way they have been.




  1. Im a done. But I have experienced anything like you describe of the critics. Would be good to get some quotes or references to them.

  2. Thanks for the blogroll. The correct attitude to crap preaching and crappier music is to.
    1. Remember that you are not in the pew for you, but to honor God.
    2. Correct the preacher. Most are afraid of you if you go full AMOG.
    3. If the place practices heresy, find another congregation where the faithful arise. Cut off your funding, Cut off your conversations. Let them alone.

    For if they do not reflect on questions and reform themselves, they are a synagogue of Satan.

    And such apostates you should have nothing to do with. They will lie. They will double down. And they will project.