Men, You Are the Prize

This is a letter I composed for a friend who's dealings with women over the years has caused him little but grief. The names have been changed to protect the innocent.

Luke,

I've heard once again hat you've had problems with a woman. I can relate to that. Recently, I've come to realize something:

In any relationship between a man and a woman, the woman is not the prize—the man is the prize.

This is the opposite of everything we were taught growing up. Wasn't the girl supposed to be the prize? Weren't we supposed to chase after the girl in an attempt to “win” her? Yes, that's what we were taught, and it's 100% wrong. Consider what the typical woman brings to a long term relationship:

1. Sex. Of course, this one goes both ways. The truth is women like sex as much as men, otherwise there would be no such thing as a one night stand. Don't fall into the trap that she's doing you a favor by having sex with you. It is (and always has been) a mutual favor.
2. Housekeeping. You would think housekeeping was up there with being tortured in the pit of hell the way women talk about it, but with modern appliances how much housekeeping (vacuuming, laundry, dish washing) does the average woman do in a day? I've run the numbers at our house, and it's an hour—maybe two max—a day. The fact is, it's a lot darn cheaper to hire a maid than it is to support a woman. Housekeeping costs you more and you get less of it when you depend on your woman to do it (not to mention the routine complaints about how hard housekeeping is). From a man's perspective, a woman's housekeeping contribution to the relationship is a net loss.
3. Cooking. Much like housekeeping, this is overblown by most women. My wife cooks one meal a day (which takes at most an hour), and complains about it. Financially, it's much more expensive to feed two people than one (especially when you add in the times you pay for you both to eat out at a restaurant). The truth is you can eat out everyday by yourself and it would cost you less than it costs to feed both of you. A woman's cooking contributions is also a net loss from a man's perspective.
4. Companionship. Another one that goes both ways. She gains as much from your companionship as you do from hers.
5. Children & Motherhood? This is a big one, but again it's mutual. You bring the ability to sire and father children to the relationship. But so what? At our age we're not going to have any more children. If a woman brings children to the relationship, they will be children she has had previously with another man. Raising another man's kids—that's not a plus, that's a minus.
6. Money: it's rare to find the woman who brings more money to the relationship than she takes out. In fact, what women usually bring is constant complaining about how the man doesn't make enough money and pressure to spend money. Regardless, no man marries a woman for money.

Bottom line, all the things a woman brings to a relationship (sex, companionship, children, motherhood) are really things that you both bring to a relationship. Now lets consider some of the things you bring to a relationship with a woman.

1. Sex. As I said, women like sex as much as men.
2. Companionship. If anything, you bring more of this to the relationship. Men are often fine being independent and living on their own. Women's lives are based around relationships.
3. Money. Are you rich? No, but you're not poor either. You are responsible and bring in enough money to support yourself. You do better than many men financially. Few men are happy living off a woman. I've yet to meet a woman who was not only happy, but considered it her right to have a man support her financially.
4. Fatherhood. This is huge if the woman has children from a previous marriage. Not only do you bring mentoring to her kids, but you take a huge load off her shoulders.
5. Housing. You own your own home. Is it a mansion? No, but it's a nice home and you have one, which is more than most people have.
6. Status. The stereotype is the man landing a trophy wife, but once you reach our age it becomes reversed. The saying that men get better looking as they get older, while women just get older is true. You're tall, in good shape, and look 10 years younger than your age. Any woman that walks into a room on your arm has bragging rights with other women about being able to land a quality man.
7. Man chores. From car maintenance to killing spiders, there's a plethora of things men do around the house that women can't (or won't) do for themselves.
8. Security. This is the #1 need of women. Having a man who provides all of the above translates to one thing: security.

Which person above looks like the prize and which one looks like they are getting the prize? Stop degrading yourself and stop acting as if you would be lucky to land a girl. The truth is most women would be lucky to land you, because you're the real prize—she isn't. The next time you entertain getting into a relationship with a woman write down a list of the things she will bring to the relationship and the things you will bring. Study it, and then repeat to yourself the truth that is revealed by the list:

I am the prize!