When people discuss the difficulties of women over 30 having a child, the focus is always on fertility rates—how easy (or hard) it is for a woman to actually get pregnant. That's only part of the story. You also have to consider the ability of a woman to carry the child to term. The chart below shows the miscarriage rates for women by age1.
But, that average
includes women of all ages who had children (even the ones that
started in their teen years). How does the higher miscarriage rates
of older women affect their ability to have even the average number
of children (2)? They are stacked against her. So stacked that the
term “secondary infertility” (the inability to have a
second child) has entered the lexicon.
What if you want to
have a large family, with 3, 4, or even 5 children? It's not going to
happen if you marry a woman over 30. It's just not.
One of the primary
reasons to get married is to have children and form a family. If
that's your goal, then your potential bride's ability to have
children (including the number of children you desire) is important.
No it's not romantic, but marriage is more than just romance.
To put the shoe on
the other foot, if a woman found out her fiancee (who she was madly
in love with) had undergone a vasectomy and thus was unable to father
children, would she be justified in breaking off the engagement and
looking for another man to marry? Yes she would, because having
children is important to both men and women.
The fact that a
woman has put off motherhood until the riskiest time in her life to
have a child (her 30's) doesn't mean you have to blindly join her in
her risky behavior. Make and intelligent choice about marriage, and
part of that choice involves decisions about children.